No Control

This post is going to have a different theme to it. In light of recent events and taking in my current situation it is just something I should get off my chest.

Nothing bad, just had a deep thought moment with myself walking to the gym. You'd think I'd be all jacked before the gym right? It's weird the times things like this fill up your brain.

No control.

There are so many things in our lives that we have no control over. Absolutely no control. Yet, we still find ways to blame ourselves or those around us for seemingly bad fortune. Why? We could sit around all day and dissect the past on all the would'a, should'a, could'a type of questions but what's the point?

Do you have a time machine? Then stop worrying about it. But if you do have a time machine, I highly recommend not going back and changing the past because of the possible and unknown effects it could have on your future. Moral of the story, let the past be the past. Can we learn from it? Definitely. However, drop the whole game of wishing you could change it.

I know that in America, we slowly learn this value. The value of looking to the future but not repeating mistakes of the past. The value of not letting road blocks stop you from leading your life.

Athletics has been patient with me in teaching me the art of never letting an error ruin the entire tournament. Mistake, or unforeseeable events are not what defines you or the moment you are living in. How you handle the next play is what sets the tone for the remainder of the game. And sometimes, no matter how much you battle back, you still lose. So do we sit around wishing we could go back and change things? No. We go to practice the next day, work on our weaknesses and come back stronger in our next performance.

In Japan, the culture itself does  not believe in living in the past. They do not sit around and self pitty their life's work. They pick themselves up and move on. They change their future. When the tsunami hit in 2011, they never wasted any time to help one another and get over the tragedy. While they may still feel hurt, they are not defeated.

Right now, there are a few things that are 100% out of my control. Actually, my whole life there have been things I could not have had control of. That's ok. I'm starting to learn that isn't what's important.

I have a very sick family member at the moment. I'm sure there are other in the family that are cursing themselves for it. Even the individual that is ill. I hope that if any of them read this, it will help them find peace in what is going on. We can make all the right choices about our health and we can be perfect physically from day one or make a change later in life, and sometimes...just sometimes...our time will come regardless. I may eat fairly clean 85% of the time, and workout 6 days a week, but that doesn't mean something won't happen to me.

Everyone feels terribly for things like this, but what is most important is your outlook to the future. Can't always control what happens to your body but you can control what happens in your mind and in your actions. Laugh. Smile. Remenisce. Smell a rose. Sit in the sun. Watch a football game. Do what makes you happy and never look back.

I could write forever on what we can't control. You guys have had plenty of your own experiences.

Just remember what you can control. You can control how you treat people, how you think, how you feel. It can't all be done alone. Know to ask for help or surround yourself with people or events that will help you feel good.

Being in Japan, there is so much I can't control. I can't control where we live, I can't control if someone understands me, I can't control situations where Jordan is and isn't home, I can't control if anyone out here likes me.

But I can control how my new home looks, I can control my knowledge of the Japanese language by learning it, I can control what I do with Jordan when he is home and what I fill my time with when he is gone, I can also control my communication with him, and I can also control my effort to make friends. I won't be friends with every single person I meet, but I will make friends.

With all this being said, do not fear the situations you cannot control. Embrace them and use it as a challenge to see more than what the situation has seemed to have handed you. You'll find more value in that than you will in self pitty. Sadness is a sickness. Happiness is a medicine. We can't always be happy 100% of the time. That is ok. Cry and let it out. But please and try and fill most of your time with happiness. With things you can control. You will feel a whole lot better. ;)