Be Your Own Hero

Blame is dumb. It's a waste of energy.

Leads you no where.

Gives you nothing.

Keeps you in a bad mood.

Blame is pathetic.

It is also contagious!

Don't lie to me. You blame other people, things and events that happen in your life to justify why you did or didn't do something. I do! I do it and I always have to back myself up and think about, whatever it was, in a different way.

Story time!

Growing up, I didn't typically blame other people for why something bad happened to me. In high school, at the height of my competition days, I did a lot of visualizing on how good I would play in the next game and would workout 8 hours a day (not consecutively) on the game of softball so that no one could say they worked harder than me.

Although, I did blame myself a lot I suppose. If I messed up even a little bit, I would think "If I would have done more of this, I wouldn't have had that error...If I was better this wouldn't have happened...bla bla bla"

Regardless, it always worked out because I never stopped working hard. Until one day, after a degrading phone call with my Dad, everything changed.

I'll never forget the day I quit softball and blamed every one and every thing for every single event that went wrong in my life. It was like a switch totally flipped.

In that phone call, I was basically told I would never amount to anything. That I wasn't working hard enough. That I had no heart and no drive and I just was not giving it everything I had because I wasn't a starter. When I hung up the phone I thought, "Yeah? Well fine, I'll prove it to you"

That was that.

I blamed my coaches for not getting me in games when I knew I was good enough. Hahaha. I look back now and I think, "Wow, Tor. You're so dumb and blind." I started at 3rd base for a whole off season my freshman year...but they didn't give me a chance? Hahaha, what a moron young Torie. I was the first to be placed in almost any position when someone got hurt, but they didn't give me a shot? Wow. My sophomore year they worked my ass off knowing I'd be a starter either that year or next. They were tough on me but I assumed they just hated me...again...way to go, Tor.

I was blaming my coaches for crap that I totally made up in my head because I was a Debbie Downer and pissed off at my Dad. Was it truly my Dad's fault? Heck NO! Imagine what my 4 years at the UW would have been had I not been placing blame. Imagine what it would have been like if I would have prepared myself for any possible opportunity instead of damaging it because I blamed the coaches, and my Dad, for my attitude?

Blame is pathetic. A waste of time. An embarrassment.

Life is out of your control. Other people's choices are out of your control. YOU are in your own control.

You work all day, be with your kids all night (or all day and night for stay home parents), you have mounds of housework to do, or maybe you have unaccomplished dreams or goals. Although, you can't possibly finish them cause you're too tired and you worked all day...

I have a sister who is raising a family of 7, has a full time job, keeps the house clean and family fed, volunteers and is part of numerous clubs and fundraisers, and WHO IS IN FREAKING LAW SCHOOL! Tell me you're tired again and I'll show you someone who works their butt off to accomplish their dreams and get shit done. Oh and by the way, she finds time to take sporadic trips with her friends or alone anywhere from the San Juans to freaking Italy. Tell me again how tired you are.

I'm not implying you should do all the things she does, all I'm trying to get across is that blame and excuses are useless.

I am also a blamer and excuse giver. It's a struggle sometimes to not do it, but I work to avoid it.

Be you're own hero. Even if your goal for the day is to get the dishes done or one load of laundry completed, do it. Don't say, "Ugh...I'm too tired, I'll just do it tomorrow." I say that ALL THE DAMN TIME. You know when tomorrow is? 5 days after the fact, hahaha.

Ever since I had that phone call with my dad 10 years ago, I've never ever forgotten it. That was the day I learned what blame, excuses, and giving up, really meant. I will never, ever give in like that ever again.

We're all busy. It isn't like you're the only one on Earth who works 14 hours a day, or raises kids on your own, or runs a business and a family, or has a bad day. It's even ok to think negative, bitch to your friends, and complain! You need to let that out! Just refuse to carry it with you. Say your peace, let it out, move on, no blame.

You're better than that :)

Be your own hero.