Reaction

Life is a bitch, ain't it? I mean, it seems like every year there is some major problem that forces you to put your life on hold. It steps on your chest making you unable to breath and wishing nothing more than to just finish the job and do you in once and for all.

Then right when you think you can not possibly take any more, you see the light at the end of the tunnel and that mean bully (life) takes it's foot off your chest. You stand up, dust yourself off, realize you did not die and find a way to move on and smile. Before you know it you're happier than a unicorn riding a rainbow.

Alright, I went to some extremes there. Not everything in life is that terrible. You will never go through anything in your life that you can not handle. It all comes down to your perception of the situation. Whether or not you will allow any positive thoughts or viable solutions. There is always a silver lining, always a way to solve a problem. Not every one permits their brain to expand to those possibilities.

Reaction.

Your reaction to all of your life events will determine the outcome. No one is special in their problems. Everyone has problems. It is impossible to foresee problems and avoid them completely. Well, I take that back. There are times when we can tell that our current actions can eventually cause a problem and we receive signs that tell us to change course. . Do we always listen? NO! If you said, "Yes," you are an absolute liar!

I have no idea how many times I'm going to have to learn this lesson. The one I'm teaching you now about reaction. Reaction to life. Everything around you can be awesome or can be the gateway to hell. It's completely your choice.

Now, I understand that some of you reading this think that I may have it easy. Nothing to terrible as had to have happened to me, right? I mean, I grew up in a middle class family, 4 amazing siblings, Mom and Dad both healthy, sports star, played Division 1 sports, have a masters, I teach elementary school and coach CrossFit, I am fit, motivated, and married my high school sweet heart. Yeah, I'm a poster child for the American Dream.

(ok if you never thought this about me, just go with it. It adds to the whole effect of this post.)

Well, I may have been financially comfortable and had awesome siblings, but my parents fought 24/7 and that is not an exageration. I have seen my dad throw things and punch holes in walls out of anger and through copius amounts of alcohol. He drove me around to practiced while drunk and yelled at me so much for errors committed in sports that he actually got me kicked out of a basketball game so that the refs didn't have to hear him anymore.

My mom has also been on life support twice, my father once, and my siblings have had their close calls as well and my grandfather is battling emphysema and has been hospitalized several times.

While I may have worked hard to be a "sports star" it came with some serious mental issues. Confidence being one of them. I still have issues with that today and never feel perfect enough for anyone. I have mastered the art of being a social chameleon just to make sure everyone likes me and can never find reason to judge me negatively. I'm not saying I'm always successful at this, but its stupid to make EVERYONE like me.

Yeah I earned a partial scholarship to the University of Washington for softball. But I quit after 2 years in defiance of my father, I wanted to party, I had a boyfriend that I thought wanted me to quit anyways, I developed a hate for my coach that was so outlandish I still can not believe how terrible I was. She gave me so many chances to stay and I turned away anyways...fool.

I have 2 degrees, and a certification to coach CrossFit but not a full time job. I don't contribute to my family at all and that is so painful.

I'm married, but that comes with its fair share of issues. Being a newlywed is tough and learning how it works is like being in school all over again.

Reaction.

Both my parents love me so much. Even though my dad was a total dick, he taught me everything I needed to know to navigate this life. He taught me how to succeed, how to be the best at everything, how to never let an error stop you from winning, how to never rely on other people to solve my problems, and to never abuse any substance. Recognize when there is a problem and change it.

I can't take my parents/family for granted. Ever.

Nothing wrong with wanting people to like you. Just don't let it change who you really are. Choose your friends wisely. I'm learning that not every one has to like me.

I gave up a dream. Guess what? I'll never give up another dream. I learned how to pursue something with all I have and never give it up just because one person said I couldn't do it. Or because my life got hard. If its important enough for it to be a dream, never let anything stop you from achieving it.

Recognize opportunities when they come. Take them. If they will make you a better person in the long run, take it and learn from it.

Just because you've known someone for 5 years prior to dating/marriage, it does not mean that you "know" them. Do not take any relationship you have lightly. Every one of them is important and you must treat them as such. Otherwise, they will leave on their own or by grand design. Either way, you never want to look back and wish you would have put in more effort to show them that you truly love them.

I look back on my past often to serve as a reminder of the lessons I have learned. I would never regret any of these moments because they have shaped me into who I am right now. Besides, all the choices I made back then were what I wanted to do at the time! Obviously, in retrospect, I know I was a moron. But without me being a moron I wouldn't know what I know now.

Have I figured out how life works? It's meaning? Not at all. Shit, I'm not even 30 yet!!! I can't wait to learn more. I know I'm going to fall down quite a few more times and I won't know it all until I'm about 90 years old. That's fine. That's life! That's the journey and half the fun! Besides, bad decisions can turn into great stories. Not always...but sometimes. ;)

My message to you is this. Don't be stupid and think your life is always going to be unicorns and rainbows like I said earlier. You will hit walls. Life will step on your chest and make you feel like you can't breathe. You have a choice. You can either take that challenge head on and fight back, or you can just sit there hoping it crushes you out of misery.

I choose to take the challenge as it comes. Besides the more I face, the more prepared I am for the next one! Also, the sooner I do that, the sooner I can get back to my happy go lucky, CrossFit/Paleo obsessed, focusing all my time on my husband, loving my family way of life.

It's hard...

But it's all in my reaction to it.